Dear Woman in Waiting,
Dear Woman in Waiting,
It’s the place you least desire to be and yet here you are. The waiting room of life feels dim, at times devoid of hope even. Perhaps this place would be cheerier if you knew what awaited you around the corner, but you see no light at the other end of the tunnel, so you continue to wait in the dark, no timeline in front of you. Meanwhile, others- your family, your friends, are called from their waiting room chairs leaving you behind. It is a lonely, isolating place to be, watching everyone around you live the reality of your unanswered prayers. You celebrate the blessings of others, rejoice with those who rejoice, yet in the deep crevices of your aching heart, you mourn. In secret places, you grieve. At times the grief feels too heavy to bear and the desire feels all consuming. These wistful days of survival grow weary and monotonous. You long for answers, for reprieve, for a faint glimmer of hope, but none comes. You crave finality, satisfaction. If you could but know the outcome one way or the other perhaps you could bear it and move on but all you are given is uncertainty. This is waiting.
I cannot tell you why God has chosen to withhold from you this good and godly desire. I cannot take away the pain I know you feel. I cannot rush the waiting season away and grant your heart’s long awaited desires. But Dear Woman in Waiting, may I offer you a small bit of encouragement perhaps, in this season you find yourself in? It is my prayer this letter strengthens you, offering you just a faint glimmer of hope even, through this weary wilderness of waiting.
First, I long for you to know that there is nothing wrong or sinful about grieving over unfulfilled desires, especially when they are God-given, God-glorifying desires. Your grief is not a lack of faith, it only reveals that you value the things that God values and esteem what He esteems- continue on in that. Your tears are not a lack of belief in God’s goodness, you can be fully assured of His kindness and mercy towards you and still cry. As you grieve, Dear Woman in Waiting, do so knowing that He sees you, is with you and choose to honor Him in your tears.
As you wait, commit yourself to live a life of poured out prayer. He truly cares for you, sister. You have not escaped His notice or ever attentive eye. Do not hold back from sharing the deepest parts of yourself with the Lord who knit you together in your mother’s womb. Do not shrink from laying your heaviest burdens upon Him or from lifting up your most sacred and intense longings to Him in prayer. He already knows all things, but He wants you to share your burdens with Him in order that He may draw near to comfort you.
As you wait, commit yourself to live fully in the imperfect, present reality that in so doing you open a window for a greater glimpse into the perfect eternity. These unfulfilled desires and unanswered prayers remind us that this life is temporary. One day these things will pass away, there is something better to come than all we could hope for on this earth. “This too shall pass” whether it passes in this life through the receiving of your gift long awaited, or whether it passes when you are ushered into a perfect eternity spent with the One who satisfies every longing and fills all in all. Keep your eyes fixed upon that eternity.
As you wait, commit yourself to trust fully in the Lord. There is peace for today and bright hope for tomorrow when an uncertain future is trusted fully to an all-wise God. Do you believe that the God who created trillions of stars, hurling them into space and organizing them into billions of galaxies calling each individual member of them by name, is in incapable of controlling your life? He is not. Seldom does our Father explain His sovereign purposes to us, He tells us His thoughts are higher, and His ways are perfect. You can trust your paltry timelines to the hand of the God who crafted time. Why fear when you have seen Him turn ashes into beauty, scars into works of art, pain into masterpieces? Why be afraid that the chisel will slip from His grasp this time? Ask Him to steel your trembling soul to make it unflinching beneath His refining blade. He is trustworthy, sister.
As you wait, commit yourself to rest in Christ. Because He is trustworthy, you can rest in Him rather than the outcome of your circumstances. When life’s joys, comforts, hopes and dreams have all been stripped away, we more fully see His beauty and all-sufficiency. This wilderness of waiting is the very place God has chosen for you in order that He may teach you to turn your gaze fully upon Him, to long for something greater- God Himself. Our Father is in the heavens doing all that He pleases. His kind character and constancy are the surest comforts for you as you live out your days. There is no puzzle of providence needing hammered together, it is in this season of waiting and testing that He is calling you to simply rest in Him. Our Savior’s shepherding is tender, He can make you to lie down in green pastures, He will lead you beside still waters. Paths of righteousness will lead you through difficult valleys. You need not fear any evil, for He is with you always. His provision never fails to come because He will lead you to it for His name’s sake. As Fanny Crosby wrote: “All the way my Savior leaves me, what have I to ask beside? Can I doubt His tender mercy who through life has been my guide? Heavenly peace, divinest comfort, here by faith in Him to dwell, for I know whatever befalls me Jesus doeth all things well.” Rest in His past and present faithfulness.
As you wait, commit yourself to live in a state of surrender. Your desire is so strong it is difficult to fathom the concept of living without the fulfillment of it. It may, if you offer it up, be taken, the answer forever withheld. Nevertheless, will you offer it up to the One who both gives and takes away? Will you lay this most precious desire at His feet? Will you lay down the fear of the unknown? Will you lay down the hurt that weighs heavy on your chest when others who don’t understand try to help but say the wrong words? Because He is trustworthy, because He is everything you could ever need, because He loved you enough to set His heart upon you and give His very life for you, will you unclench your fists and open wide your palms, holding out to Him this sacrificial offering of your desire?
As you wait, commit yourself to worship. The pain of longing is your reminder, you invitation to wonder at His ways and worship Him for all that He is, not just for the gifts that He gives. Worship Christ for His sake alone. Dwell on His goodness, His wisdom and His sovereignty. Look to the cross, see His love displayed for you there and worship Him for it.
As you wait, commit yourself to hold fast to the truth. Our perspective is not always factual. In the midst of deep pain, we can begin to believe lies and doubt the truth, don’t allow yourself to wander or to doubt God’s goodness. Hold yourself accountable. Renew your mind with His promises. “Take every thought captive” and “speak truth to your heart”. Refresh yourself in the Scriptures. Read His Word over and over again, return to it day in and day out. Ask God to reveal Himself and His truth to you more fully, you will find encouragement there. Seek out a community you can be transparent with, you don’t have to walk through this alone, God intended for us to dwell with one another, bearing each other’s burdens, sharpening each other and holding fast to the truth together.
As you wait, commit yourself to serve Christ where you are. Do not put off serving Him until the answer to your prayer arrives, look for ways to serve Him where you are. Be intentional in your waiting. Do the next thing in front of you. Usually, not all of life is waiting. Very likely, there is something, even one thing, even a very small thing, that you can do in your sphere of life right now. Start there and make that the beginning. You have a vital role to play in the Kingdom of God, this role is not dependent on whether or not you have the specific thing you are waiting for. Your life and ministry are no less important until you arrive at the place and season you have made your goal. No life fully surrendered to Jesus has wasted seasons, serve with intention here.
As you wait, commit yourself to wait in hope. Dear Woman in Waiting, God’s goodness has no limits, there is always reason to hope. This season of waiting is not the end of your story, God is not finished working yet. Remain hopeful, believing that in the end, there will be a beautiful outcome (I am not necessarily referring to earthly outcomes but to eternal ones). This grief is not here to stay. It is but for a moment and this “light momentary affliction is preparing for you an eternal weight of glory” beyond what you can see or feel in this moment. Hope on, do not lose courage, wait with expectancy. Hope on believing that God will be good to you and find comfort from the future in the present. In Psalm 71:14-15 David writes: “I will hope continually and will praise you yet more and more, I will not lose heart unless I believe that I will see your goodness.” He is making all things new, weaving a beautiful tapestry through the tears and the pain, “His story never ends in ashes” (E. Elliot).
My heart is with you, sister as you wait upon the One who never fails or makes mistakes. There are better things that lie ahead, if not in this life, in the life to come. May God make your heart strong in Him as you wait.
God shall alone the refuge be
And comfort to my mind
Too wise to be mistaken
Too good to be unkind
In all His holy sovereign will
He is, I daily find
Too wise to be mistaken, still
Too good to be unkind
When sore afflictions on me lie
He is (though I am blind)
Too wise to be mistaken
Too good to be unkind
Hereafter He will make me know
And I shall surely find
He was too wise to err, and oh
Too good to be unkind
-Samuel Medley
If thou but suffer God to guide thee and hope in Him through all thy ways
He’ll give thee strength whate’er betide thee and bear thee through the evil days;
Who trust in God’s unchanging love build on a rock that naught can move.
Obey, though restless heart, be still, and wait in cheerful hope, content
To take whater’r His gracious will His all-discerning love has sent;
Nor doubt our inmost wants are known to Him who chose us for His own.
Sing, pray and swerve not from His ways, but do thine own part faithfully.
Trust His rich promises of grace, so shall they be fulfilled in thee.
God never yet forsook in need the souls that trusted Him indeed.
-Georg Neumark